A DAY THAT DIDN’T GO SWIMMINGLY
I was so excited this morning when I weighed myself on the bathroom scales. I have lost 3¼ lbs and the reason for the weight lost was our beautiful new staff restaurant at our new headquarters. Instead of Costa sandwiches I was able to enjoy a great selection of salads. Motivated by this, I decided I was starting my 3,059th fitness regime. I headed towards the Marriott Hotel leisure centre and asked if I could just have a swim and pay for a one-off visit. I was in a rush as I only had 55 minutes to get to my next appointment.
“Certainly Sir,” was the reply - “£18”. I responded that I only need half an hour. “If you come with a member it is £9.” I hesitated. Do I pay £18, or was this a sign from above, telling me not to bother?
I decided to go with the sign and started to leave. As I passed through the exit doors I bumped into an old friend. “Come back with me,” she said. “You can get in for £9.” So with false enthusiasm I returned. Sheepishly I took the locker key from the Receptionists, who looked at me with disdain, as they thought I had accosted one of their members so I could get in cheaper.
Up and down and up and down I swam furiously. The sun was shining, I was getting slimmer, and had managed to save £9 entry fee. Life was good. With all my enthusiasm I forgot to look at the clock. 22 lengths later I was 5 minutes away from my next appointment. I rushed out of the pool, jumped in the shower, and then it struck me – no towel. No towel, no clothes and, between you and me, although everyone thinks I have got lots of confidence, in an environment with slim, fit looking men, however hard I clenched my stomach muscles, I have to tell you I always feel somewhat intimidated.
I am a master of drying myself all over with a moderately sized towel without anyone seeing parts I wanted to keep private. The changing room was huge. “I will borrow a towel” I thought. Gingerly I stepped out of the shower. No-one was there – bad news, no towel. I pulled against locker doors, trying to see where I could find a towel. Everything firmly locked. But there, at the end of the changing area, were the hair dryers. I briskly made my way. So there I was, desperately trying to dry myself with a hair dryer, no towel and in walked a couple of guys and I had to make a decision. Do I continue drying my body or just move on to my hair. I tried to do this nonchalantly. Drying my hair, clenching my stomach and trying to position myself where I couldn’t be seen fully, even though I was surrounded by mirrors, was no easy task.
I am now 10 minutes late for the appointment. The hairdryer, although it burned parts of my skin, was not having the desired effect. “To hell with it. I am going to get dressed wet”. I turned off the hairdryer, headed for my bank of clothes and as I heard people behind me, slipped on the floor, legs in the air, and had the embarrassing experience of being helped to my feet by these two guys – I will never, never, never do this again. I had a bruised bum, a red face and will probably get pneumonia from damp clothes,
However, there is hope for my Adonis of a body. Next week at thebigword we are opening our Reflections room, where our staff will be able to enjoy Pilates and Yoga. I am going to attend these lessons, although touching my knees these days is an effort, so I hope the classes are not well attended. On a serious note however, I think it will be good for our staff to be able to relax during these hectic busy days.
I will let you know how I get on. If you have any ideas on how to get fit without too much effort please let me know.
“Certainly Sir,” was the reply - “£18”. I responded that I only need half an hour. “If you come with a member it is £9.” I hesitated. Do I pay £18, or was this a sign from above, telling me not to bother?
I decided to go with the sign and started to leave. As I passed through the exit doors I bumped into an old friend. “Come back with me,” she said. “You can get in for £9.” So with false enthusiasm I returned. Sheepishly I took the locker key from the Receptionists, who looked at me with disdain, as they thought I had accosted one of their members so I could get in cheaper.
Up and down and up and down I swam furiously. The sun was shining, I was getting slimmer, and had managed to save £9 entry fee. Life was good. With all my enthusiasm I forgot to look at the clock. 22 lengths later I was 5 minutes away from my next appointment. I rushed out of the pool, jumped in the shower, and then it struck me – no towel. No towel, no clothes and, between you and me, although everyone thinks I have got lots of confidence, in an environment with slim, fit looking men, however hard I clenched my stomach muscles, I have to tell you I always feel somewhat intimidated.
I am a master of drying myself all over with a moderately sized towel without anyone seeing parts I wanted to keep private. The changing room was huge. “I will borrow a towel” I thought. Gingerly I stepped out of the shower. No-one was there – bad news, no towel. I pulled against locker doors, trying to see where I could find a towel. Everything firmly locked. But there, at the end of the changing area, were the hair dryers. I briskly made my way. So there I was, desperately trying to dry myself with a hair dryer, no towel and in walked a couple of guys and I had to make a decision. Do I continue drying my body or just move on to my hair. I tried to do this nonchalantly. Drying my hair, clenching my stomach and trying to position myself where I couldn’t be seen fully, even though I was surrounded by mirrors, was no easy task.
I am now 10 minutes late for the appointment. The hairdryer, although it burned parts of my skin, was not having the desired effect. “To hell with it. I am going to get dressed wet”. I turned off the hairdryer, headed for my bank of clothes and as I heard people behind me, slipped on the floor, legs in the air, and had the embarrassing experience of being helped to my feet by these two guys – I will never, never, never do this again. I had a bruised bum, a red face and will probably get pneumonia from damp clothes,
However, there is hope for my Adonis of a body. Next week at thebigword we are opening our Reflections room, where our staff will be able to enjoy Pilates and Yoga. I am going to attend these lessons, although touching my knees these days is an effort, so I hope the classes are not well attended. On a serious note however, I think it will be good for our staff to be able to relax during these hectic busy days.
I will let you know how I get on. If you have any ideas on how to get fit without too much effort please let me know.
