AIR RAGE AT 20,000 FEET: A WARNING TO SNORERS EVERYWHERE
I would like to start this week’s blog by saying that I have been extremely impressed by the way that our Japanese customers have dealt with the recent disaster, and I’m delighted to tell you that our Tokyo office is now fully operational once more.
Since returning from New York just over a week ago I haven’t even had time to get over my jet-lag, and it’s all the fault of the rather tubby guy sitting behind me who managed to snore his way over the Atlantic. I did my best to block out the noise, but after a while the hard plastic earphones started to poke through the sponge and hurt my delicate ears; it was time for more drastic action.
So, while the cabin was quiet I took my glass of water, gulped it down until there was only about a centimetre left, peeped over the seat to check the coast was clear and projected the water into the man’s face with a flick of my wrist. I span back into my seat, giggling to myself.
A stealthy air-steward had seen everything and knelt beside me, whispering that my anti-social behaviour could lead to being banned from future flights; I envisaged being arrested immediately after getting off the plane - and guess what? It seemed I had missed my target, and he carried on snoring anyway.
The only thing keeping me awake is my excitement about tomorrow, when I will be having dinner with an absolutely fabulous lady - the wonderful Joanna Lumley - who will be the guest speaker at a charity event sponsored by thebigword. I have been practising playing it cool in front of the mirror for days and, between you and me, I’m so nervous it’s pathetic.
I imagine by the end of the evening we will have become firm friends and I’ll be invited to all kinds of glamorous celebrity parties - tune in next week for the exclusive!
Have a great weekend,
Larry
Since returning from New York just over a week ago I haven’t even had time to get over my jet-lag, and it’s all the fault of the rather tubby guy sitting behind me who managed to snore his way over the Atlantic. I did my best to block out the noise, but after a while the hard plastic earphones started to poke through the sponge and hurt my delicate ears; it was time for more drastic action.
So, while the cabin was quiet I took my glass of water, gulped it down until there was only about a centimetre left, peeped over the seat to check the coast was clear and projected the water into the man’s face with a flick of my wrist. I span back into my seat, giggling to myself.
A stealthy air-steward had seen everything and knelt beside me, whispering that my anti-social behaviour could lead to being banned from future flights; I envisaged being arrested immediately after getting off the plane - and guess what? It seemed I had missed my target, and he carried on snoring anyway.
The only thing keeping me awake is my excitement about tomorrow, when I will be having dinner with an absolutely fabulous lady - the wonderful Joanna Lumley - who will be the guest speaker at a charity event sponsored by thebigword. I have been practising playing it cool in front of the mirror for days and, between you and me, I’m so nervous it’s pathetic.
I imagine by the end of the evening we will have become firm friends and I’ll be invited to all kinds of glamorous celebrity parties - tune in next week for the exclusive!
Have a great weekend,
Larry
