How should we give feedback to our colleagues?

This morning I was reading Forbes online, which generally I actually quite enjoy and find interesting, and there was an article from a Pamela Gordon, who I haven’t particularly heard from, which I thought was really really disappointing. 

It was about passing feedback and criticism, and she gave the following tips, “get clear about your intentions”, right, so would you say, right everybody, I am going to screw you in front of your colleagues because you were late at delivering on the agreed plan. What does that mean? 

"Set the stage", what are we going to do, turn the lighting on them? 

"Be specific", well that part I will give you, you should be specific and you should focus on facts.

Make it collaborative, what is this lady talking about?!  You know, going to get everyone to agree, awful! 

And "always get feedback on your feedback", so...you are rubbish at your job, what did you think about that feedback? Absolutely crazy. 

So what I would like to do is give you some suggestions that I have seen work really well. 

And that is do try and start with the positives, but the next thing I would do, number two, is ask questions, “you know we are a month late on delivery, when can we expect the delivery?” 

Number two in that sort of area is another question is “can you help us understand why there has been these kind of delays?” 

By asking questions, and not attacking, you are giving them an opportunity to answer, not a direct criticism.

But the other thing I beg you, and millennials are the worst for this, stop putting things in emails! And stop cc’ing them to everybody, because those emails have a different tone for everyone that is looking at it. 

So really really do think about that, and have a good week, have a peaceful week, I look forward to speaking to you next week and don't forget to subscribe.